Wow…. this is going to be long.

READ THIS #NSFW first: Dear Mommy Blogger *may not display due to server crashing – click here for screenshots*

I’m gonna jump right so if you don’t know what i am talking about, read the screenshots first *wink*.

There are so many problems with this post and it is sad that it is all blame them, blame the sponsors, blame the followers. At the end of the day, her quitting/failure/dissatisfaction is HER fault. She thinks like a “mommy blogger”.

That term just grosses me out. It is degrading. Why don’t people just say “BUSINESS OWNER”. Not even businesswoman. I AM A BUSINESS OWNER, WATCH ME SUCCEED! That should be our mantra. Not “ima mommy blogger, yay”.


Let’s dissect this post. I’ll be honest. I did not read it all. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

  • Influencer marketing did exist before 2013, even if she did not know about it.
  • From what I can glean, she made every mistake there is by trying to chase and clamor and climb on top of everyone and every opportunity.
  • I’d never shell out more than $20 of my own cash to do a giveaway – that is NUTS.
  • She blames the readers. No one reads your blog because it is not valuable. SIMPLE.AS.THAT
  • She blames her sponsors for “making” her write fake reviews on products she did not love. Which she agreed to do. Last I knew, the USA was a free country and you have a choice about what you do with your time.
  • She only tried for 3 years and is now quitting. It takes at least 5 years to make a business go go go!

This post of hers tells you everything that will make your blog FAIL. She made a blog, not a business, despite what she thinks.


Mistakes “bloggers” make (that this mommy blogger also made):

1. Thinking like a blogger, which is short term, and not like a business owner (long term). Bloggers self-finance giveaways and get no results. Business owners strategize and negotiate to reach their goals. A business owner would get that KitchenAid mixer sent to them for free, even with pay for featuring it, and then have a very serious CTA with that giveaway. And only if the post was for KitchenAid – how does the mixer tie in to the post? Yeah, it doesn’t.

2. Being fake and inauthentic. Business owners only work with brands and products they love and only share content they think is really valuable to their audience. Bloggers share whatever is in the share thread, post about whoever sends them free stuff and throws money at them, and complain on social media about the work.

In February 2016, I wrote an angry, heartfelt letter vaguely directed at my ex in regards to not paying child support. It was the most real and vulnerable s*** I’ve ever posted on the internet thus far, and I was terrified to hit publish for many reasons. Within a week, it went viral, and as of today it’s been shared more than 312 thousand times. How many times would I have killed for a sponsored post to do that well? – Josi Denise

She had it all wrong. First, people like negativity. Second, she was finally real, vulnerable, and relatable. My top posts on the Just JP blog are ALL sponsored. I am real, I am funny, and I genuinely care about what I am sharing about so people respond. I may not have a bazillion dollars and a quadrillion page views but I am authentic. I can lay my head on the pillow at night and know I am me and there is nothing fake to live up to. You should be terrified every time you hit publish. And then you should feel empowered because you are putting real, hard-hitting content out ]there that will make a difference in people’s lives. Don’t make the 84th recipe for cream puffs because “cream puffs” is a top keyword for your site. Make the cream puff recipe because it is somehow life-changing, better, or improved from everybody else’s and all of your other cream puff recipes before.

3. Not knowing their audience (but thinking they do). A business owner knows their audience. They know how the audience speaks, they know what social media platforms to reach them on, and they know how to CONNECT with that audience. A blogger tries to attract an audience with content meant for a totally different audience and has no idea why they don’t have success. They try to create an image of perfection because other bloggers told them they need to “look perfect on Insta” when their demographic doesn’t respond DEEPLY to that kind of content. Your audience can connect to a perfect photo but they take action on a photo that makes them feel, that pushes them in some way, that motivates them. Bloggers don’t know their demographic so they can’t make that moving, feeling, deep connection type of content. That’s why they don’t get results. This one blogger told me they had a huge millennial audience and when I dug into their analytics and looked at who was engaging, they had a huge baby boomer following – they had no idea that they were doing everything RIGHT for connecting to baby boomers and WRONG for connecting to millennials. Besides that, there’s a level of knowing how your audience looks at life, no matter their age. If you present perfect, pretty, and peppy, you will get people looking for an escape from reality or looking to be inspired. They don’t want a super deep connection with you – they want something pretty and perfect to look at and take them away from this hard life. If you present real, raw, and authentic, you will get people who love that but you will turn off all the people who just want a pretty perfect escape from reality. You can’t be all things to all people so just be REAL to you and then let that show. Don’t present perfect and then blame the followers when you feel bad about how fake you are. YOU attracted those followers with what YOU put out there!

4. Bloggers let their insecurities lead and keep them “busy”. Business owners empower and are strategic about how they spend their time, money, and effort. The part of her post that was really gross was the part about conferences and classes. Business owners can see through the crap advice and seminars-turned-sales-meetings that can happen at conferences. It’s not all like that  – there is HUGE value in going to conferences. Business owners know that it’s not the gear (camera, course, blog theme) but the person that makes the post awesome. Sure, gear helps but gear is a tool that should be bought as you make money and graduate up in your business. Bloggers buy all the gear upfront, are overly concerned about appearances like business cards and themes, and get suckered into course after course that they never finish. Bloggers keep busy with tasks and to-do lists and notes from conferences rather than actually hunkering down and doing the work that will bring them long term success. A sponsored blog post does not equal long-term success. It is short-term money and a business owner knows that. A business owner has a mix of short term and long term income streams, passive and active income streams, and balances them to make money all throughout the year. A business owner is not busy for the sake of being busy – they use their time to do the work that has a payoff.

5. Bloggers don’t treat brands like fellow businesses. A business understands that brands are not out to get you. Brands and sponsors are businesses too. Everyone wants what is best for them and it is up to YOU to make sure you’re getting what you need out of the deal. Business owners negotiate and then say “no” to deals that don’t work for them. Bloggers don’t negotiate, they feel pressured to agree to every offer in their inbox, and they hate themselves for it, which manifests itself as complaint threads in Facebook Groups and forums where advocates and reps for the brand can read them. That’s why people feel the need to put “PR friendly” in their media kits – because so many bloggers act utterly unprofessional when declining offers that they don’t like a few savvier bloggers ant to be beacons of hope for the PR firms to connect to. Not every offer that comes in your inbox is a good fit. I once got an offer to get some paint for a remodel project I was working on. Once I got in the store and saw that the arrangement was not what I thought, I called the deal off with the PR rep on the phone right there. I was super polite and followed up with a nice email. You don’t have to proceed if the deal is not mutually beneficial. You don’t have to be a compete jerk when turning down an offer.

Stop calling yourself a “mommy blogger”.

Shoot, stop calling yourself a “blogger”. You are a BUSINESS OWNER. THAT is the big problem with this industry. How can you be taken seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously?

The perfect rebuttal to the “mommy blogger” post above is this: The Agenda That Finally Gets the Push It Needs


This excerpt sums it up perfectly:

I am an influencer. I am a mother. I have a blog. If you want to call me a mommy blogger…go ahead. It doesn’t affect me. But if you know anything about me, you know that I am more than just this blog. My business and my reach stretches well beyond this URL. – Vera Sweeney

Vera Sweeney has a new follower in me.

Weigh in with your opinion in the comments below.

rmw 2016

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6 thoughts on “Blogging – you’re doing it wrong. Why “The Dear Mommy Blogger” Blogger is doing it all wrong

  1. The original post account has been suspended so I couldn’t read the subject of this post, however all of the points you made were still so valid and true! Just what I needed to hear today, thank you!

    Posted on May 18, 2016 at 11:51 am
    1. Good to hear! I think the traffic surpassed her hosting limit. That’s what it looks like to me. Post went viral 🙂 Will be back in a few days I bet.

      Posted on May 18, 2016 at 12:10 pm
  2. Great post, Jennifer!

    Posted on May 18, 2016 at 1:47 pm
  3. Thanks for this. I read that post and first was a little shocked at the language. Second was totally discouraged, but I am new and easily swayed by people who have had lots of success. This was also the second thing in the same day that basically said quit blogging! But I love it! Good to hear a rebuttal.

    Posted on May 18, 2016 at 6:23 pm
    1. Sad to hear that Debbie. But glad you are changing your mind. It is easy to get discouraged with anything. Success is relative. I’d take everything with a grain of salt. 😉

      Posted on May 18, 2016 at 8:16 pm
  4. I’m so glad I found this post today! I did go back and read the original post and to me it seemed like this woman was completely overwhelmed and disillusioned with the whole blogging process. I agree that it appears she did a lot of things wrong and had she possibly researched and chosen her moves more carefully then it wouldn’t have ended up the way it did. The poor taste in language added another level of hostility and unprofessionalism to the entire rant.

    I thought the points you made in this post were great, and outlined very well how and where this woman went wrong. It was a good reality check for someone like me who is contemplating on making the leap forward from hobby to business. Thanks again for taking the time to write this post!

    Posted on May 19, 2016 at 6:21 pm